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But a life we did have. We set up a household, living on a small road, or soi, off Sukhimvit Road (one of Bangkok���s main thoroughfares). We inhabited an enclosed compound with the servants��� quarters in the rear. Most of the cooking and laundry (done by hand) took place there. There was always a small fire being coaxed to warm, wonderfully fragrant dishes in clay pots. We only hired servants who were willing to save part of their salary and go to school. I routinely checked their bank-books to confirm that deposits were being made. Just how much nerve can a twenty-four year old have? One time our head housekeeper, Praesert, had announced that she was not going to school that night because she was behind on ironing our clothes and had not completed her homework. My solution was to take over the ironing and quiz her on the assignment. Suddenly I heard soft rustling in the trees that edged the klong (canal) bordering our property. I realized, with great dismay, that servants from neighboring compounds had arrived to witness the ���mistress��� performing her servant���s role. I hadn���t even thought about how Praesert might be viewed by her peers. Had she totally lost face by letting a ferong (white person) do her job? We resolved that quickly between ourselves and I never crossed that line again. Yet months later, this still could not be even a private joke between us. I needed to be more aware of how my household staff wanted their mistress to fulfill the role of ���Madame���. That was my last visit to the rear of our compound. HYLAND